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  1. #1
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    مقال An Angel-like Girl Weatherall

    Well, one of my hobbies besides reading is writing.
    I don't consider myself a talented writer though I have the patience to sit down and write.
    Most of my writings happen when I go through blue moments rather than moments of joy or happiness.

    I'm very glad to share the below story with you.
    Your comments would highly be appreciated.








    An Angel-like Girl Weatherall
    Written by: Cheesecake

    My story cannot be summed up in three or four paragraphs; it cannot be written down on a sheet of paper that people would immediately read and understand. It is a thought-provoking story that words are incapable of getting it down, personally exaggerating. Every single member of my family has lived through it and thus, it can be considered their story as well. However, it is my soul which is the closest to it.


    It was a blissful year, being close to his angel-like soul. Being together, they were on the top of the world. She felt blessed with him, telling each other their ups and downs. She had come to become hopelessly addicted to his soul, blessing her eyes by contemplating his pictures. Years passed and a strong relationship grew between them, and it was deepened by their faithfulness to one another. Being apart meant death for them, honestly not exaggerating.

    She was surrounded by her family, her mother, father, sister, uncle and her uncle’s wife. Her father came to ask her: do you agree to marry him?” She indeed did agree to marry him for he had given her for her pains a heaven on earth. Yet the strange combination of happy feelings and sad feelings drifted her to be sunk in thought. She just could not show them that she was dying inside. She did not shout a word; she was silent, shedding invisible tears. The people surrounding her were talking, shouting what they had about this man. Everything they had was negative, had driven her to refuse the man whom she considered an angel on earth. Oh yeah, she was brainwashed into thinking that this man did not deserve her, claiming that he did not want her for who she was but for some other reasons. She had come to refuse him totally, and so to live the rest of her life being doomed.


    And suddenly, the coldness in her stomach slowly changed into bitterness. She came to feel bitter against all, all the people in the world, including the members of her family. She believed that they betrayed her, leagued against her. She fully knew that there were more plenty fish in the sea, but he was the only man she was dying to have. This bitter incident was seriously choking her to death. She had come to feel it for years. Being apart, she felt that she was caged in the world of loneliness, shedding gallons of tears for not having him anymore.

    She gradually came to realize that she had been living in an illusion. The day of hearing wedding bells was approaching and his family decided to name the day. The ninth of January, 2015, was a bittersweet day. She heard music and everybody’s laughter out of happiness, except her who was dying from within. She let nature take its course though. Yeah, he decided to get hitched. She gradually came to a realization that nobody ever deserved even her crocodile tears.

    Now, she comes to realize to stop wasting her precious time thinking of him and wording beautiful sentences for him. She comes to always keep reminding herself that there is someone with an angel-like soul out there who deserves her and who is willing to die to have her. She comes to get enlightened that those people who tried to get her stand against him are devil-like who deserve nothing but her careless departure.

    And the story of my life is compelled to be entitled A Merciful Release”.


    The End

  2. #2
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    Good writing expressing the conflicting emotions she had but I did not understand is she was good or bad because I was thinking she was a victim but when you used word crocodile tears that indicted the lie in emotions she was expressing which shows untrue feelings she had .

  3. #3
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    Your story has a lot of narration, and almost no description. Description is of an utmost importance to readers, for it makes them conceptualize the story and rather live it, narration alone can't generate enough feelings in the mind of the reader. But you have a story, and tha'ts important

  4. #4
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    Description can be very difficult and demanding, along with taking a lot of space. In in my last short story, some seven out of ten pages were allotted for description, of course scattered all around the story not in one place. Two of my readers expressed that they got absorbed by the story and that they felt every motion as if they were present there. Practice more on description and you will have a catching story.

  5. #5
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    I am sure it is a meaningful story, has a lot of sadness and grieve the teller suffered through out the journey of being deceived emotionally by someone could not keep his word. However, I think translating it from the native language of the story teller to English is not showing all the finite details that could make it a catching story.
     Signature 
    Lay aside dreams of greatness and embrace dreams of dependency
    Lay aside the thrill of recognition and find the joy of serving
    Lay aside the thirst for honor from others and seek to honor others instead
    Lay aside self-assessment and depend on Almighty Allah’s mercy

    T̶̲̥̅̊H̶̲̥̅̊E̶̲̥̅̊ S̶̲̥̅̊H̶̲̥̅̊E̶̲̥̅̊D̶̲̥̅̊



  6. #6
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    nice ........
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    انا الذي نظر العمى إلى ادبي ..... و أسمعت كلماتي من به صمم

    انام ملء جفوني عن شواردها ..... ويسهر الخلق جراها و يختصم

    و جاهل مده في جهله ضحكي ..... حتى اتته يد فراسة و فم

    إذا رايت نيوب الليث بارزة ..... فلا تظنن ان الليث يبتسم

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